Day 85 Of Daily Journal

Day 85 has been a really hard day I have had to go through some serious personal problems and it has really affected my mental health.

Day 85 Of Daily Journal

Today I went to town with my mum in the morning and then I went up to my nans again the same as what I did yesterday but then later on in the day I had to go through some serious personal stuff and it has basically destroyed my mental health. I have never ever been at this point before in a very long time and I have got no idea how I can get better from this because it is out of my control.

Tomorrow, I am going to spend most of the day in bed just not doing anything and just trying to sleep that is if I can actually go to sleep. I do not think that I will be able to go to sleep tonight as there is so much on my mind it is literally eating me alive. I do not feel like myself it is like something has been torn away from me. I know that I am going to be feeling like this for a while as well because there is nothing that I can do to make me feel better.

Before this lockdown happened I use to go to the gym whenever I felt low or whenever I was having problems with my mental health because it was my way of escaping it all but I can not do that without motivation and I have not got that motivation anymore.

Mental health is one of the most important things, it is a battle that everyone faces on a daily basis and it is something that you can not see. On the outside, everything seems fine but what is going on inside is a mess and there is no cure for that. It is a battle that everyone faces day in and day out and you do not know who is fighting it or who is genuinely happy. Everyone has there problems but for some people, these problems just become too much to handle and they end up doing something to themselves to make them feel better.

I can not keep fighting every single day just for the same thing to keep happening to me. I am destroyed. I am down to my core and I do not know how I can be better. I want to be better I do not want to feel like this but it is so hard to do. I really hope that there is something better for me in the future because I can not keep doing this.

As I have been writing this I have just seen some hopefully good news maybe things are looking up for me who knows...

Stay Frosty Much Love IFB  : )