Day 72 Of Journal

Day 72 of my journal and today has been a long and kind of stressful day.

Today I tried to take some time out for myself and just wanted to spend some time coding before the charity gig that I had to do. That went really well we raised nearly £1000 for the animal shelter which will really help as they had to close nearly all of there income streams to because of the lockdown. It has been an alright kind of day today. My body has been giving me signs that I am too stressed out so I need to try and relax a lot more than I have been doing.

Tomorrow I have got to venture out and pay the gas bill and whilst I am out I am going to fill my car up with petrol so that it is topped up whilst it is still cheap. I might be meeting that girl tomorrow again so I will be able to tell if she is lying to my face again or not. That hurts the most the fact that she did it to my face again and it was not over text. I am still not sure what is happening between me and her and I am going off the mindset she can do what she wants to be me but I will not be doing anything in return.

I just want things to be better between me and her because she has been a huge part of my life for a long time and I would hate to have to give all of that up but if that is what needs to happen that it will. She has got something planned for Friday as well I am not sure what that is, my mind has been giving me endless possibilities and none of them seem realistic because I know her and I know what she is like. 

Let's hope that things start to go to a new normal very soon, the world is falling apart around us and we thought that the lockdown would be the start of a new world but I think the lockdown has made us all realized how repressed we are and that something needs to change. I am looking forward to this new world not just after the lockdown but after everything else that is going on. We have destroyed the earth and the people on it so it is time for a new one.

A new earth a better version of the earth with less violence less anger and much more love and peace towards people. It is time for a change, a big change so that we can all live in a much better world at peace with each other.

Stay frosty much love IFB :)