Day 71 Of Lockdown Journal

Day 71 of lockdown journal and today was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions.

Day 71 Of Lockdown Journal

Today I went to go and see that girl again as just a friend but we accidentally kissed and by that I mean she kept kissing me and I kissed her back which was a mistake. It turns out that she had unblocked that person and she has been talking to him again. For the last time though now. She said that she wants to sort things out and end things with him I thought she had done that by blocking him but clearly not. I also got my dates mixed up and I have work tomorrow instead of today.

Tomorrow I have got work which I was meant to have today but I got my dates mixed up which is not good as usual, I am on top of things very well. I think that I am just going to see what that girl does with that guy see if she messages him again or see if she lies to me again about. I am starting to think that she has seriously got something wrong with her if she is going to keep lying to me.

She told me to my face today that she had not messaged him but she had and as soon as she was home she messaged him again. It is ridiculous and I am not waiting for her again. She was meant to spend today to win me back she had unblocked him but instead, she decided to lie to me. Part of me and a big part of me just want to leave her behind and not talk to her or see her ever again but then the other part of me is saying stick with it she won't do it again.

I just can't help feel like I am getting played over and over again it is like she does not want me in her life and if that is the case then I am just going to move on I am not going to wait for her if she can not be bothered with me. She says that she is not going to message him again and I want to believe it but I can't right now because I know that she probably will.

She told me to watch what happens on Friday and I am not sure what to take off that I am not sure if she is gonna come and see me and spend the night with me or if she is just going to block him and tell me that she is done with all of that or if she just leaves me on Friday. Either way, I am prepared for it.

I go by the saying prepare for the worst but hope for the best then you are ready for the worst thing to come but you will be happy if something good happens. I am shocked that I got played again and at this point if someone else messages me before I would ignore them but not anymore. 

Let's all hope for some better days to come my way or at least some happier days at least.

Stay Frosty Much Love IFB :)