Another Step Back

Just when I think something is getting better it all just falls down around me. When is this all going to be too much?

Another step back

I have just finished work a lot earlier than usual because of technical problems with my bosses WI-FI it kept cutting in and out which is not good when you are trying to live stream. He was having to live stream using his hotspot on his phone because he had no broadband at home. Turns out that even that was not good enough as it kept cutting out on him.

It just feels like whenever I am looking forward to something it just goes wrong. Everything is going wrong, this just got so hard for my mental health all at once. Not only is everything falling apart around me I have got to be strong and I just keep bottling it up so no one knows whats going on. This is so hard a lot hard than I thought it would be. I did not want my life to be like this, I had dreams goals hopes everything but now. Now I just have nothing.

Not only have I got all of this pain inside but I bit my cheek the other day and it has turned into a massive ulcer so not only do I not have the appetite to eat I physically can't because of how much it hurts. My phone charger has broken as well now completely so I had to use a spare one that I have found, there is just so much going on and I just can't take it.

I do not know how much more I can take, this is getting so hard for me even just making this post I just I don't know how I can keep going. I want to make the people around me proud of who I am I want to make the world a better place but I don't know how if this is all I get. The worst bit is I have got no one around me I can talk to about this and what happens if I make it through this. What happens if I make it through this and I do carry on what happens next where does my life goes after this.

I don't know who I am anymore.

Stay frosty much love IFB :(