Day 58 Of Lockdown Journal

Day 58 of being in this lockdown and it is now really starting to affect me.

Day 58 Of Lockdown Journal

Today was an alright day it was not a good day. I went on a walk to catch some sun whilst the weather was good which meant that I was able to get out of the house for a bit. I did some work connecting my phone to my computer so that I can play audio through my phone. My mum passed her trail course at work so that was something good.

Tomorrow would have marked me and my girlfriends 4 year anniversary together, it is going to be a really hard day. I am still unsure of what to do with her as part of me wants to get serious with her but I know she's not going to change. She can't even see me on what would have marked us being together for 4 years. That is something that you should never miss it is such an important day no matter what is happening it is still a very important day.

It is going to be hard to get through tomorrow without seeing her as I know that she won't be seeing me. The worst part is she gets my hopes up telling me that she is going to see me and all of that and when it comes round to it on an important day she is not there. I wouldn't mind if it was just any other day but it is a special day for us both.

I am still fighting the battle of is she going to do it again is she going to be better and every day it seems like the same thing over and over again. Just a let down after a letdown. I don't want that, I want something real I want someone who I can see someone who would do anything to see me just like I would for them.

Some good news, I did get my phone to work with my PC and the audio comes through nice and clear and my mum is now an official employee so that was something that we could celebrate together. I am still hoping for some better days to come my way but we will all just have to wait and see.

Stay frosty much love IFB :)