Day 45 Of Lockdown Journal

Well, just another terrible day. This lockdown just went really downhill, My life has become a mess. I don't know what to do anymore,

Day 45 of lockdown journal

Today was another terrible day of lockdown I have never felt so alone through this lockdown than I have today, I don't even know where to start. Just living my life has become so hard because of one person who I just can not get over, no matter how much pain they put me through but is this that last straw is this what breaks me and makes move on. I have been so unmotivated to make posts if you haven't noticed the lack of posts. I will get over this.

 Tomorrow I have got work again so that is the only thing that I can look forward to so I need to make sure that I am sober for that. I would not wish what has happened to me on anyone. I wish there was a magic wand to make you feel better but there just isn't that does not exist. I have never felt so alone than I do right now I know that I have got people around me who can help but if I speak to them about it there will be consequences and I want to be an adult about it. I just don't know how to feel.

In other news, the lockdown is going to be extended for another 3 weeks but they are on about letting people go back to work and an unlimited amount of exercises instead of giving you an hour. There are also talks of letting a nanny or a cleaner I think coming into the house, I wonder if that is because that's what all of the rich people are doing anyway. 

I keep telling myself that I can get through this I am stronger than this but every day it just keeps proving harder and harder to believe that. I know I need to be strong and pull through this but it is so hard. This just proves that not everyone is in the same boat through this lockdown and that every person is going through something different. I can not imagine what this is doing for people's mental health. If it wasn't for this blog page I think I would have driven myself insane by now.

I hope that all of you reading this are well and that you are all pulling through this lockdown. Just remember that we will get through this every day at a time. 

Stay frosty much love IFB :)